Food for the soul

Nobody Can Remove Hurt Except Allah. Even if someone tries to cause you any hurt, stay firm in your belief and remember that no one can cause you any pain if Allah does not desire it for you. And if Allah touches you with hurt, there is none who can remove it but He; and if He intends any good for you, there is none who can keep back His Favour; He brings it to whom He pleases of His servants; And He is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

~Surah Yunus 10:107~

There were things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them and let them hurt me.

~Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)~

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Senang kan nak relapse to your old ways?

Lagi senang once you remembered how good it felt.

But I'm human. Bound to make mistakes.

I just wish people would understand me. That I don't have to tell them. That all the times we've spent together, growing up and all are enough to make them understand me. My discomfort. My silence.

But we're all human beings. Bound to make mistakes.

I would really like to meet Jonathan Safran Foer. I'd like to know what goes through his mind every time he pens down all these beautifully crafted words that struck my chord.

And jumping to a completely random topic....

Suka jugak baca these two particular blogs : Alkisah and my:lullaby. Letak link nanti they might sue me for invasion of privacy pulak. Haha. But yeah, one has a wicked style in humorous writing. The other one tu, I can't exactly figure out what is it about her blog that I like. Dia macam, ethereal-like but can also toss out the cold hard truth about what's happening around us in a perspective way.

I think dua-dua orang ni ade personaliti yang menarik.

This week is killing me. Figuratively speaking. Sebab lately ade je orang yang always take everything yang I cakap secara word for word. Haih...rolling my eyes. Literally.

Get to know Him in moments of ease. He will know you in moments of difficulty.

Yesterday was my birthday.

Allah has blessed me with another year to live. To make a difference. To improve.

Not to change. I won't say change. Change means becoming different in essence; losing one's or its original nature.

I knew I've always had a good life. But I think it was only last year that I realized I'm blessed (it's actually my current favourite word) with a good life. Along the way, I think I also realized 2 other things : One, I should not have to change myself. What I need to do is to improve myself. For the better. Two, in trying to improve I've to take baby steps. Wouldn't want my soul or bodily system to go into shock pulak kan? Haha. You need to take one pace at a time when you're ready to let something go and embrace something new.

Yesterday was indeed a good day. Had class from 12-3. I know, a drab right? On a Saturday pulak tu. But actually it was a blessing in disguise. After the class ended few of my classmates invited me for lunch which turned out to be a treat for the birthday girl. They even bought a cake. Baik kan diorang?? Only Allah can repay them for their kind deed. Then around 4, Claudia my old friend texted and we went for tea and an early dinner. Pun dia belanja jugak. Murah rezeki betul semalam..

The birthday wishes were the best of them all. Because wishes are like prayers. Ellina called, Sarah sent a semi-long wish all the way from UK, Amal tried calling but I was in class so she sent a very heart-felt birthday wish instead. And Ain, I baru dapat your text today. (Lambat la Ain. Ni yang sedih ni.. Haha). This is going to sound cheesy (or sappy, as Ain puts it) but I don't care. My bestfriends' love are one of the best gifts from Allah to me.

All sappiness aside, another person also made my day. Well, night actually. Yes that person was late but that person felt kind of guilty I almost felt sorry for that person. Haha. Still, dapat jugak another dose of endorphins kan?

And for all the well-wishers, whether it's through Facebook, texting or calling : Thank you so much for your kind words. Definitely made my day.

Michael Althsuler said, "The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot."

Now I don't know who Michael Althsuler is but I think he is one wise dude.

I want to do good things with the year 24. I want to become a compassionate Person, a kind Sister, a good Student, a loyal Friend and an amazing Bestfriend. But above all I want to be Allah's best and loving servant.

Macam susah kan?

But please pray for me that I can become all that.

Of doughnuts and a balloon.

I think I am addicted to Twitter.

Setiap satu minit kot...

And I am simply in love with all the quotes from https://twitter.com/IslamicThinking

Goodness grief.

Need to find something else to do.

On a happier note, last night somebody made my night.

A perfect ending for what seemed to be a really tiring and depressing Friday.

Depressing because I dented my Savvy.

That aside, did I mention somebody made my night?

Cool like tak boleh nak berhenti wear a ridiculously dopey smile.

(Ugh. I really have to bang my head on the wall.)

And verily, your Lord will give you (all i.e. good) so that you shall be well-pleased.

"Sometimes it's easier to smile even if you're hurting inside, than to explain to the whole world why you're sad." ~Anonymous~

I agree.

Plus, it's a whole lot easy to fake the tough exterior.

This could be a test. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Right?

And if the worst comes instead of the best?

My threshold of physical pain has always been comparatively higher than my emotional pain.

Maka?

Kena have faith la...

Allah never tests His servants with more than they can bear, right?

And there's always a hikmah for everything that happens to us.

As for now, I'm fine. That is what I always tell, and will continue to tell them.

Fake it till you make it.

On a completely different but somewhat related matter, yours truly stumbled across this one page the other day. Sangat suka. Especially this one particular bit that I'm re-posting down here :

The stronger the faith you have the more difficult the tests/trials you will face, but if you see the hidden blessings of the difficult trials then you have the potential to increase your wisdom, increase your faith and develop your personal character, so be happy when Allah SWT tests you with difficulties as he has given you an opportunity to get closer to him through the trials. Allah is the Most Wise.

Taken from http://islamicthinking.tumblr.com/

3 Sundays in a row.

Either it was just a random coincidence or that person is onto me.

If it's the latter, macam agak cool la that the person actually remembers about it.

See, when one is not thinking logically, one would spurt out nonsensical things like that.

Note to self : Sila jadi level headed balik. Like, STAT.

On the other hand, if it was just purely coincidental, then I've to say : I'm loving life's simplest pleasures.

Nak lagi next Sunday boleh? (Haha)

Solace.

I once read in a book that said all the verses in the Quran are like personal love letters from Allah to us. If you want to find solace and balm for the sore, the words will heal it straight away.

Then I found surah ash-Sharh / al-Inshirah.

It has become my favourite surah.

1. Have We not opened your breast for you (O Muhammad (Peace be upon him))?
2. And removed from you your burden,
3. Which weighed down your back?
4. And raised high your fame?
5. So verily, with the hardship, there is relief,
6. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief.
7. So when you have finished (from your occupation), then stand up for Allah's worship.
8. And to your Lord (Alone) turn (all your intentions and hopes and) your invocations.

I realized that in life, you will reach a point where you can no longer rely on your iPod's playlists to make the pain or sadness go away.

The verses of that surah are my solace.

**3 bulan macam tak lama kot. Besides, patience is a virtue, no? And good things always come to those who wait. Patiently. I just need to bear that in mind.**

And Lenka said, "...but I'm a sucker for his charm..."

Amal, this is for you.

Only because I tak buat a secret blog like you did am I doing this here. (LOL)

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iziezubi : eh, yeay finally dpt baju biru
iziezubi : mesti kacak mcm voldemort
iziezubi : eh sorry
iziezubi : cute
Farihna : lol
iziezubi : haha
Farihna : hahaha
Farihna : i'll try to be dark and brooding for u when u come around next
Farihna : unfortunately i can't do the tall part
iziezubi : tak bley sbb u tak tinggi
iziezubi : haha
Farihna : me vertically challenged
iziezubi : hear hear
iziezubi : lol
Farihna : but u do go for dark skinned guys eh
iziezubi : why do you say that?
Farihna : *bleep* and *bleep* are dark guys
Farihna : i don't know ur taste prior to these 2
iziezubi : eh ye? i pun tak tau
iziezubi : i like *bleep* sbb dia tall and mysteriously comel but ala2 pemalu
iziezubi : haha
iziezubi : yg *bleep* tu..well
iziezubi : ntah
iziezubi : kebetulan je kot
iziezubi : i tak letak type
iziezubi : physically i mean
iziezubi : well, with the exception of kalau dia tinggi dia dpt extra points la
iziezubi : haha
iziezubi : but usually i go for the "internal" attributes
Farihna : ok
Farihna : u go for his charms
iziezubi : aaa! yes...
iziezubi : pandai pun
iziezubi : sbb tu u awesome
Farihna : mmg pun
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iziezubi : and sunday got discussion
iziezubi : last sunday pun discussion gak
iziezubi : sunday morning some more
iziezubi : nasib baik sunday morning u dpt free endorphins
iziezubi : *tu
iziezubi : lol
Farihna : hahaha
Farihna : tulah i was like... masa bile sunday i dapat endorphins
Farihna : hehe
Farihna : u taw u je yg dapat endorphins
iziezubi : lol. but the ironic thing abt the whole situation is
iziezubi : dia comment pasal my endorphins
Farihna : i baru je nak tanya u
iziezubi : but i rasa dia tak tau dia yg bg i endorphins
Farihna : dia x taw ke yg dia endorphin u?
iziezubi : so mcm kelakar la
iziezubi : tapi tak bgtau dia la
iziezubi : nope. tak rasa dia tau
iziezubi : cool in a twisted way kan
iziezubi : haha
Farihna : agaklah
Farihna : hehehe
Farihna : u and ur endorphin shots
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That's about it Amal. Hope you find it entertaining. Haha.

I am a glutton for punishment...

I laugh about it.

I even make a joke out of it.
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But it does not mean I'm not hurt by it.

Dah cakap dah jangan cari pasal.

Distracted... And likewise attracted.

"..... i am kicking all the others out except u..i am dragging u in ....."


I left my "level-headed and practical" mojo at the door on the way in.

Have to get it back.

Kalau tak.....

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I'm screwed.