Tomorrow's the day...
Last day weh...
I remembered 6 months ago as I was crossing off Day 1 in my calendar I was thinking to myself "Day 1 down, another 5 months and 29 days to go."
Seriously biar betul dah nak end of June?
To say I'm sad and berat hati nak leave that place is an understatement. I've learned tons for the past 6 months. 6 amazing months I must say.
Want to know something totally and randomly scary? Last weekend I was reading the papers and when I got to the horoscope section (okay, I don't exactly believe in them, berdosa I tau) mine says, "An important cycle in your life is coming to and end....". And some other blah blah blah. Coincidentally true perhaps?
Honestly, I feel scared. And tak tau how to face Sunday evening nanti when it's actually my last shift of work.
Farihna was the first to say goodbye earlier today. My body was doing all the motion but my head macam fail nak process the fact that this is it. It was sad for me sebab rasa macam all the good and bad things that happened between the two of us were replaying in my head. Tapi poker face kenala maintain kan...
Nak lari to denial land sekejap boleh tak?
I want something from him. But I don't know what. Whatever it is that I want, agak-agak will he give it to me on my last day of work nanti?
Pfft! what am I rambling about here???
By the way, am currently overdosing myself with Frozen by Madonna. The song has a way of calming me down. Though the vid has a way of giving me nightmares when I was in my tweens back then.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
If I could melt your heart...
Friday, June 25, 2010
I love you is that okay?
Okay....I've never done this before... don't actually make it a habit to post in this blog pics and entries that seem very very personal to me.
Then again this year personal entries semua bersepah-sepah kat sini... Kenapa ye agaknya???
I've been blessed with so many great things this year. But one of the few things I knew I've been blessed with dari dulu (like, way dulu lagi) are my best friends.
I miss them... Haila...
I love love love this picture so very much. Nak tau kenapa? Because my two friends look really happy. Plus nampak macam diorang sayang gile kat I in that pic (ye ke???). Haha...
We're reaching almost a "decade" old la... To the next 10 decades perhaps ladies?
I'll sing a song for you guys eh...
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Of World Cup & MasterCard...
World Cup...
It happens once every 4 years.
Sad to say (sad ke?) I'm not a fan. But my dad is rooting for Argentina (he even bought the white-blue jersey) while my kid brother supports France.
Eight years ago, in 2002 when I was 15, I remembered this incident where my mom threw a mild tantrum because my dad refused to take her out to dinner.
Sebab time tu tengah World Cup.
During that one month memang susah la kalau kitorang nak keluar for our weekly family outing.
Then in 2006 I was in university. So I never really knew what happened at home during the 06' World Cup.
For this year, I think my dad made a few *ahem* "persiapan awal" in anticipation of World Cup 2010 fever.
1. He bought a jersey. Kepala macam tak boleh nak comprehend that my dad is actually wearing a jersey. For those who really know my dad, you guys know what I mean.
2. If dulu selalu berebut telly (which usually the guys will win on the basis that WC is once every 4 years and it's only during the one and a half month je diorang nak conquer the telly), this year tak payah nak sorok-sorok the remote dah because my sister and I got another Astro installed in our room. MTV, Star World and E! for me, Disney and Cartoon Network for my sis. (Okay, memang dah lama installed, way before WC, but I'd like to think my dad decided to get us another Astro dish this year solely because come June 2010 he can hog the other telly all to himself.) He even told my sister, "Kalau Ina nak tengok TV depan, lepas pukul 4 pagi baru boleh..." -_-"
3. If back then my mom would sulk because she can't go anywhere for more than a month (they lied when they say WC is over after July. Lepas tu ade the English Premier League pulak. Pfft!), now my dad cakap "Abah hantar mana2 you all nak pegi, bila nak balik give me a call". But there's a catch. We can either ask him to pick us up at 9.30 pm (since there's a match at 10pm) or if nak balik lagi lambat then we'll have to wait till 11 pm. Ehh, nak tolong tutup kedai sekali ke ape??
So today my dad dropped the female clan of Zubi's residence in MidValley before driving back home to catch a match on the telly. The best part, he gave my mom the oh-so-shiney plastic card.
Swiping card never felt this fun. Okay, my mom did most of the swiping.
In the end my sister came home with the most "catch-of-the-day". New bag since Roxy was doing a sale, new shoes, jeans and....I lost track of other things that she bought.
My mom.....well, let's just say she was very much preoccupied in the Home & Living dept of Jusco. At the end of the day she came out with 3 big bags which she defensively told us "Barang ni semua untuk rumah, untuk awak and abah jugak."
Yeah, right. Since when do we need 4 cushions and a table runner? The ones currently at home still looks fine to me je... Tapi takpe ma, along faham... ;)
And me? Niat sebenar I ajak my mother and sister keluar is to buy shoes untuk pegi kelas nanti (I know, classes haven't even started yet but it's always good to prepare early). There's this one shoe shop in Gardens where you can buy 2 pairs of flats at the price of RM100. I've been eyeing them for quite some time truth be told. And I was hoping to get this one jacket I saw in Cleo's magazine. But when I went to Miss Selfridge and asked the salesperson about the jacket, she told me the stock has not been sent to their store yet. Haila....
I felt kind of dejected after that actually. And the sight of my sister with all the things she got was like rubbing salt into an open wound.
Then we passed by a store and this one RED, leather handbag caught my attention. Fake kulit buaya, or ular (don't care that much honestly) but seriously, the red is to die for. Then I asked my mom,
"Kalau nak beli beg untuk kelas kira bawah abah and mama punya expenses tak? It's for my studies..." *inserts pleading eyes like Puss in Shrek*
"Kalau ye boleh bagi Dean's List kat mama ke?"
Like, mesti la boleh. Mama nak dekan tu sendiri pun I can give her to you.
Of course, that was before she saw the price tag. Then she started this long and *coughs* nagging lecture about how during her days dapat masuk U pun dah cukup bagus, pegi kelas bawak beg kain je.
"Handbag takde kena mengena pun dengan study".
Siapa kata?? The perfect red bag plays a crucial part la... Buku banyak nak masuk mana? And I just know the bag will serve me well for my studies nanti...
If my mom could debik me publicly, I think she would have.
Then lalu depan Thomas Sabo. The store is just plain irresistible... My mom rolled her eyes as I pulled her towards the counter and pointed at the red ballet flats charm. Nak tu please...
To which she said "Tadi dah beli kasut untuk kelas. Ni pun untuk pegi kelas jugak?"
Me smiling sheepishly of course.
I begged, made some promises and begged some more. Finally dapat la jugak the shoes.
Funny how I loved the tiny charm shoes more compared to the real flats I just got.
9.30 pm on the dot my dad is already at the front entrance waiting to pick us up.
He eyed the bags in our hands carefully.
You should know better than to give us girls a card and 8 hours of shopping time abah.
Remember the "Priceless" ad by MasterCard? I've a feeling my dad's version would be something like this :
Handbags : RM 380
Shoes on promotion : RM 100
Dinner for 3 : RM 60
Household item (yang kononnye untuk kitorang semua) : RM......wait, mama sorok the receipt.
Thomas Sabo : RM 250
Getting to watch WC w/o wife and 2 daughters bising2 in the background : Priceless.
For me, the envious look on my brother's face when he saw us with the stuff we got is priceless. Haha. Siapa suruh tak ikut...
Next week, strappy red heels at Pedro OU. Kasut Raya. Since I saw the shoes in the magazine, please, please, PLEASE let the stock be there when I come.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Goodbye infatuation, Hello motivation.
Teha asked what made me like the guy. Was it because of his looks or his character?
Then I asked why the question.
She laughed and said it never occured to her that I could like those type of guys.
Type? What type dear? I sendiri pun confuse. Haha.
I liked him for his charms la...
Liked. Just so all my besties know, I'm over it now. So you guys no longer have to worry about me aight? Though I love you guys for caring that much. ;)
Best holiday ever. 2nd June - 5th June. On top of which I found out I got another extra 2 days of holiday.
Thank you Cia & Teha, for the trip. The break from work was very much needed.
And sorry Cia if kitorang camwhore banyak sangat dengan your camera. ;p
Kumpul more $$-$$ for our next vacation to Bali eh?
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Pointing out the obvious.
I didn't notice it before. Okay, boleh rasa la sikit-sikit but I'm good at denying the facts and denial land is sometimes my second home.
Sorry Amal and Ain. Didn't realize I was putting you guys through torture. Haha.
But okay, I will tone it down eh...The last thing I want is for me to create another secret blog filled with screenshots of YM messages between two people.
Haha, joking. Jangan marah eh siapa-siapa yang terasa tu. ;p
But thank you for today.
Funny how sometimes it only takes your best friends to point out the obvious baru diri sendiri nak accept the fact for what it is.
I knew there are months where all the post would be all about it tapi did not realize pulak it was THAT much.
I'm oh-so very allergic to the word j!w@ng. So if your own besties, who sometimes can be the one mirror of truth you know you can't avoid dah cakap "Hey, your blog makin *beep* la..." then you know you're in a deep trouble.
By the way, I love you guys for choosing my side. And for what it's worth, I'll always be on your side too no matter what.
And please jangan la buat aksi paging macam tu lagi next time. ;p
Finally get to lepas rindu seeing my cousin who happens to be teramatla ayu with her new tudung-clad image.
And Ain, we're going to miss you and your snarky, sarcastic attitude when you leave us for Sabah. *Sobs-sobs*.
Twice this week I splurged at Zanmai. Even Amal dapat her infamous "foodgasm". That should be an achievement to me la kan? Since she rarely gets it. LMAO!
Monday, May 17, 2010
And I don't want the world to see me.
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
I'm done.
For now.
And yes Fida, the quote is for you. ;)
I feel like posting 5 random musings.
1. The more someone trusts you, the more they expect of you. And they'll load you with more responsibility.
2. As you sow, so shall you reap. I finally understood what the idiom meant.
3. Ignorance is seriously bliss. Because sometimes there are things that you wish you had never found out in the first place.
4. The previous post, that was a relapse. Sorry.
5. Don't think you've got me all figured out when you have never lived my life.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
When I saw you standing there.
The other day he wore a pair of khakis.
I swear rasa macam head over heels balik.
It's only been a week or so ehh?
Low self restrain, this much I can say about myself.
It is so much harder than it looks.
Then again, nobody said it was going to be easy.
You were supposed to make this easy for me. I dunno, marah ke, yell at me ke....
Makan masa, saya tau. Everything takes time.
Kalau ada butang, dah lama dah saya switch off terus je.
Anyway, this is for a dear friend of mine, whom hari tu were talking about taking risks.
"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?" (You've Got Mail, 1998).
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Hey soul sister...
Last week I finally dapat makan the lemon meringue pie I've been craving for since last year.
Ye, memang boleh buat sendiri tapi seriously can't find the time to do it nor do I've any idea how to do it.
Dapat makan the meringue pie pun by pure coincidence actually. A friend of mine, who she herself at that time was craving for a dish of seafood pasta decided that we should have lunch at this place called Delicious. Haha, perasan weh namakan your restaurant with that name.
Anyway, she got her pasta and I got my pie. Seriously it was darn hard for me to find any pie resembling the lemon meringue before this. Tried searching in Secret Recipe, Baker's Cottage and even Delifrance but to no avail.
I love lunches with girlfriends. Good food, great company.
The best part, she took care of the bill. When asked what was the occasion (My birthday has long past and she already got me a birthday gift. I know it can't be because I've been behaving like a good girl since she has to handle a lot of my lorat-ness at work. Haha), she simply said "Sebab dapat masuk U.M."
Aww...ini yang sayang lebih ni... Haha. Joking. Even without the blue cheese dipping and the pie itself I love love LOVE ya already.
I can never repay your kindness.
Nak treat you lunch in a posh restaurant pun, I'm not that filthy rich yet. Haha.
I can only pray that peace be upon you and may Allah bless you always dear soul sister. ;)
On the same day itself I got a call saying my hummingbird is here. After lunch ape lagi....
My friend told me each charm usually symbolizes a special occasion or mark off something special that happened in the person's life.
Me, I think the charms on the bracelet should be all about the wearer's characteristics. Things that will tell you something about the wearer.
Treble clef is of course for my obvious passion in music.
I is the initial of my name.
Snow flake because selalu berangan nak main snow but Malaysian humid and dry weather menghalang niat. =/
Humming bird as a protest against butterflies. Butterflies are so overrated. Butterfly pendants, butterfly brooches, butterfly rings...it's the association of butterfly and being feminine I guess. Pfft! Baik beli the humming bird.
The pink diamond was chosen by my mom. (After I begged her repetitively to buy me one charm. My money dah habis di-drained obviously). And to her, the one who holds the $$-$$ has the final say. Can't really argue with her on that one can I?
Can I have four more charms please?
A pair of red ballet shoes that is oh-so-darn-adorable, a red handbag charm (wajib la ada for a handbag aficionado like moi kan...), a diary and a Thomas Sabo medallion with red rubies on it.
That charm itself is worth half of my monthly paycheck.
My boss once told me to marry a Tan Sri, not a Dato. He emphasized on the Tan Sri. Now I understand why. Haih...
Thursday, May 06, 2010
I'm lucky just to linger in your light.
"You'll never reach perfection because there's always room for improvement. Yet along the way to perfection you'll learn to get better." (Versus, 2010).
I RARELY cry over books. Especially ones that are Malay novels. Tapi why am I making the exception for books written by Hlovate eh? (Haiyoo, kantoi betul...)
Moving on to another random topic.....
I think I'm going to be okay. Day 2 was not so bad. (Heh, takde pangkal cerita tiba-tiba terus jump to Day 2)
Although kadang-kadang that "tugging" feeling at hujung hati tu adala rasa sekali-sekala.
Tapi I can now be in the same room with you and not feel as much as I used to before.
On the way to feeling indifferent perhaps?
Or maybe because the end is looming close that I've finally reached my senses?
Still, if given the chance to go through all that again for the second time, I would most probably say yes.
Third time pun yes.
Fourth pun yes.
Because despite it all, you did make me smile.
Uncle Kracker cakap,
I'm going to be okay. Been through worse before kan??
=)
Sunday, May 02, 2010
I knew I love you before I met you...
The first time I saw you at Pavillion last year I knew you were trouble. And because I was afraid of approaching you I kept my distance even though my heart longed to get to know you better. Because I knew you spelled TROUBLE.
Then this year in April, I heard that you were coming. God knows how much I anticipated your arrival. Everyday on my way to work I would take the unnecessary route past your place, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.
And then tiba-tiba, on one innocent Monday Morning, while I was on my way to work, when I least expected it, I saw you.
Schmuck! You're here, I thought.
Because no one was around (it was pretty early in the morning) I decided to come closer to you (not that you're aware of it). The closer I got to you, the harder my heart pounded. Never have I been this elated to see you.
Really, I should just turn back and pretend tak nampak anything. Turn back now before it's too late. That was what my head was frantically trying to warn me but somehow my feet weren't listening. My mind was temporarily paralyzed at the sight of you.
Finally I was next to you. So close I could almost reach out and touch you.
All you did was stood there. Lifeless, even. You barely have to do anything and already I am in love with you. The effect that you have on me, I really do hate it sometimes.
You had to come to the Gardens la kan... buat my life tak tenteram kan... Kenapa tak boleh duduk diam-diam je kat Pavillion dulu...
After much staring and gaping, (you of course were totally oblivious to my presence) I had to pull myself away from you.
That evening after work, after much encouragement from my two friends, we (yeah, they tagged along for moral support) decided that we should...*ahem* berkenal-kenalan.
It turned out okay. The first ever, face-to-face meeting. I didn't stutter when talking and even my friends approved of you.
On my way home, all I could think of was you. Even though the meeting was short, there was definitely a connection. I felt it, and you felt it too.
Finally last Wednesday, I decided to take this 'thing' that we have here to the next level.
Thus began our love affair. Why is it an affair? Because I know my parents will never approve of you. They would say you're nothing but trouble for me. That when I'm around you I can't seem to think straight. How can I think clearly when you make me that happy?? Happy does not even do justice to describe the feeling I get whenever you're around me. You're even better than dark chocolate. I like chocolate. But I love dark chocolate... So yeah, you do the math...
I don't really know for how long this relationship will last. Like all "star-crossed" lovers yang hubungannye dihalang oleh parents, sacrifices need to be made for us to work this in the long run. No pain, no gain kan...
Although kadang-kadang pain la jugak kan when I'm the only one making all the sacrifices. I'm the one who's always giving while you're the one who's always receiving.
But because I really really REALLY love you Thomas Sabo, I don't mind. I'll keep giving you my $$-$$, you just keep on showering me with you 'charm(s)'. Heh, pun intended.3 5 (just added another 2 as of this evening) down, 13 more to go.
