Friday, May 06, 2011

And if Allah touches you with affliction, none can remove it but He...

(cont) ...But if He bestows upon you a favor, remember that He is the Possessor of every power to do all that He wills. (6:17)

Everyone has problems / deepest darkest secrets / burdens. And some people, they're so good at hiding these things that they seem almost somewhat normal to you. They'd joke around with you, make the most random conversations with you, and even smile at you as you pass their way. You can never tell they're just one nerve away from breaking down, losing it for real.

Kadang-kadang, kita memilih untuk keep the problems or secrets to ourselves sebab it's not easy letting others know about them. Be it your family, your best-est of friends or your loved ones. You rasa macam takut nak deal with how they would react towards you.

Kadang-kadang we keep it to ourselves because we are so used to "keeping it to ourselves", it becomes a part of us. It is not some martyr act to prove that we're strong enough to carry these burdens on our own. No. Sometimes, the simplest of explanation is because we were brought up that way. Maka "old habits die hard".

Kadang-kadang we just don't feel like telling anybody about our problems or secrets bacause we would think, "Everyone has problems. Terima je la. It's not as if the world is making a special exception for me pun."

Kadang-kadang, it's because we know people might not understand the real situation, as much as they try to convince us that they do. Sebab sebenarnya, semua orang bila berdepan dengan masalah, the emotional reactions are never the same. I can't explain why and how are they different, I just know it for a fact.

And there are probably a hundred other reasons why we choose to do what we do. And how we choose to face the problems or deal with the burdening secret is a whole different story pulak..

For me, I just want the person to tell me, "You're going to be okay." It does not matter if that person can't understand my situation. I just need that person to convince me that things will be okay.

Kena have faith that things will be okay. Allah has said it in both 8:46 and 94:5-6.

"You're going to be okay" is always more comforting to me than "I understand".

But like I said, lain orang, lain la the preference..

Sometimes, it amazes me to see such a strength inside of a person, nak pulak if it is coming from a woman. She could've told her friends or family to help her get through it, but instead she "went in" alone, for reasons one might not comprehend but should respect. I can tell it broke her heart. Mine nearly did just by listening to her.

Being a girl at this age, I belum pernah ada such a friend yang kena melalui benda-benda sebegitu. So I can't even begin to imagine how terribly difficult it must've been for her. But the feeling of pain, one should never wish it to another person.

It is during times like these one would think, "Just when I think I'm having it bad, someone else is having it worse".

And it is during this time one finally realizes she should be thankful with this current life Allah has so generously blessed her with. She could have had worse. And she'll pray so hard that if He decides to test her with such a "dugaan", she'll be as strong as the woman who "went in" alone.

Have to be constantly reminded that with each test, Allah has given one an opportunity to get closer to Him through the trials.