You make yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole

"Don't overwork yourself. Your health kena jaga. Awak still nak kena study. If you're not getting better I want you to quit your job." -Abah-

Here's the thing :

Last week my "annual" batuk+selsema+sakit tekak came for a visit. I know my own body. And I know I akan kena batuk2 semua tu twice every year. Time blaja kat U dlu pun macam tu. Early of the semester mesti akan kena mild flu macam tu. Tapi boleh je pergi kelas macam biasa.

So, kebetulan la pulak for 2010 my expected sickness tu came during the week that I've been requested untuk buat overtime at my workplace. And bila supervisors ask whether I can do extra overtime or not, chances are I'm going to say yes.

One, not because I'm afraid of saying no to any of the supervisors.

Two, not because I'm trying to pretend to be a "pekerja baik", the kind yang asyik angguk and follow the orders given.

And three, definitely not because I'm all crazy about making the extra $. My mom was like, "Kenapa nak overtime, duit tak cukup ke?". Nope, $$-$$ tersangatla cukup.

Of course, the extra money you get from doing overtime does serve itself as a perk.

For those who are really close to me, they would know about the love I have for books. I can't explain why and they've stopped understanding why. They just accept the fact for what it is.

The reason I akan say yes bila di minta buat overtime : I don't mind it if it means dealing with them books. Plus, bukannye I buat anything productive dekat rumah tu pun.

Although, I boleh je brush up and revise my programming skills time-time cuti kat rumah tu kan... But that's another story. ;p

Think of it this way. Budak kecik sangat suka playground kan? Kalau parents suruh balik, melutut menangis tak nak balik. Belum puas naik the swing la, nak main the slides lagi la, sand-box buddy belum nak balik la...

For me, my workplace is my playground. Sebab masa kecik2, my dad akan bawak I teman dia pergi kedai buku. He doesn't take me to the playground. I've been spending time in a bookshop since I was little.

It might be unrealistic and tak masuk akal to some but that is how I actually feel. It's as simple as that.

So if a mother tells her child "Okay, today you get another extra hour to play", of course la budak kecik tu won't say no kan?

Some of my co-workers think I'm doing it for another reason. I just wish they know how I really feel. Sebab right now I kena pretend yang it's actually sangat la x best bile kena buat OT sebab orang atasan suruh. If I actually told them I don't mind doing it, they might think I'm trying to "brown-nose" some people.

And as for my dad, he means well. I know he does. I think he knows I like doing what I'm doing now because just like me, he loves books too. (Dia bagi that gene to me la because I know it ain't from my mom.)

But I also know how my dad's mind works. Education first and health second.

Part time jobs are somewhere between 140 and 150.

And we only got 86 400 seconds in a day

Last night I was having this feeling of missing my best friends badly.

Diorang semua ade kat merata-rata tempat.

And all are currently busy with studies, family matters, love-slash-life dramas, all that jazz...lol!

I really really REALLY need a friendly hug from any one of them.

I think God must've answered my prayers. Jien called earlier.She's coming home for the holidays.

Sangat la excited that I couldn't even contain my ecstatic-ness masa dia call. Haha.

Touchdown on Monday around noon. Yep, this MONDAY all right.

=)

Rehab? I said "No, no, no..."

One time I was walking past a flower shop and I swear I thought he was next to me. Turned out it was just the flowers from the shop.

Ahahaha...I am so screwed...sampai his so-called scent pun dah affect my own system.

It is so darn annoying actually...penat2 bagi pep talk to myself to get over it but the next day when listening to his laughter I find myself going "Alaa, even his laughter is adorable..."

This calls for a Johhny Depp and Colin Farrell movie marathon. Have to detoxify and cleanse my system la...

She listens like spring and she talks like June

A weak human being.

That, I am.

At least I lasted 6 weeks.

Of not splurging any $-$.

Spending money ( especially your hard earned money) never felt this good.

Semalam sangat down @ work, sampai hari kena get some retail therapy.

Tomorrow's a new day though. So I'm praying for it to be better than yesterday.
The thing I like about this work-slash-gig I'm currently doing is I get to "get out" of my comfort zone. I get to do things that I was so sure dulu I sangat takut nak buat.

An introvert, I am too.

But earlier this year I was told to "...meet challenges with courage. You'll be glad that you did..."

Yup, I'm glad I did.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It does not look easy. My work, I mean.

The thousands of books there however are the prefect motivation for me to work dengan seikhlas hatinya. I mean, come on la...tak sampai hati kot nak buat "ala kadar" when dealing with them books..

I've been blessed with 2 things sepanjang working there :
Great experience. And equally great new friends.

Of course, there are days yang I rasa macam nak vent out my anger je.

Usually that happens when I'm approached by extremely rude customers.
Paling tak boleh handle la, customers yang teramat kurang ajar.
For those cases, I usually just smile as they walk off and say "And may you have a shyte-load of day ahead of you."

It's mean, I know. But hey, I'm still learning kan??

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Orang cakap "Out of sight, Out of mind". Tapi ni dah out of sight but still in my mind ni macam mana la pulak??? Need to find a better distraction la after this.

Please God. Don't test me with things I can't handle. I've been through enough already last year.

Right...dah terlari topik. Sorry. ;p

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When I was in my teen years, I was so in love with the song "Drops Of Jupiter" by Train.
It was hard for me to understand the lyrics at that time but once I did I think it's the most beautiful song ever written.

She's got you high and you don't even know yet.

Infatuated might be a really strong word. Should've used "attracted" instead.

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I mean, Tyson Ritter is worth getting all infatuated with. The same goes for Brent Kutzle.

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When I was young I was head over heels for Ryan Atwood of The O.C.

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Call it ironic... call it a sick joke... Or maybe it's one of God's mysterious ways of saying it's not worth it.

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He's taken la...

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Tis' okay. We young people heal fast. (Haha).

I need every wakin' hour with you

Music updates :

2010 is shaping up to be an awesome year (so far). ;p

Boys Like Girls came to Malaysia on the 29th of January. Wasn't able to go to their show because yours truly thought their concert is in June when in fact it was in January. Hitz.fm made the announcement that they'll be here in Jan (as in Jan, not January) and I mistakenly heard it as June. Pfft.

Anyway, Kris Allen is coming to Malaysia next week. He'll be performing in The Gardens Mall Ballroom. Awesome tak?? Sangat dekat dengan my workplace. If my manager bagi I sneak out kejap it'll be great. (Haha).

My favourite song of the moment : Friends by Band Of Skull.

Funny though. I'm also currently in the mood for jazzy slash burlesque-y kind of songs.

Try listening to Stripper by Soho Dolls and Back To Black by Amy Winehouse. You'll get what I mean.

*Nak suruh OneRepublic datang Malaysia...*

**Susah la bila tengah infatuated dengan someone.**