Thursday, December 30, 2010

For 2011 I want to fall in love.


If I have to sum up 2010 in one word, it would be "blessed".

Yes there were some hurdles thrown in for me along the way but what is life without challenges? Life gives you a lemon, make a lemonade then.

Last year, on the exact same date, I wrote "For 2010 I want to be braver".

Brave.

Because if you know me, you'd know I'm not a fan of changes. I like my "comfort zone". I was never one to try out new things. Changes scare me. Endings scare me because then I would find myself stumped, not knowing what to do next, how to begin and where to start.

I wrote scare. Not scared. Does that mean I'm still afraid?

I honestly don't know. One can't really change within a year.

But if there's one thing 2010 has taught me, it's that in each girl there has always been this thing called courage. She won't realize it's there until there's no other choice left but to face whatever it is life dealt her with a deep breath, head held high and enough faith in her heart to know that Allah would never burden her with something that is beyond her capabilities.

Through work I found out that big responsibilities that are entrusted to you, though heavy and scary, only mean people actually believe you can get the job done right. I also learned how truthful it is that it does not feel like work if you love what you do.

2010 is the year I met many new people. It kind of comes with the job description. Along the way new friendships are forged. This is also the year where I realized it is super important to have a strong support system in the name of best friends and that opening the heart to crushes or *coughs*feelings*coughs*, while can be risky and messy, offers you free shots of endorphin and put ridiculously dopey smiles on the face to last the whole day.

Through study and school I discovered that there is nothing my parents would not provide for me. Which is why for next year, I want to fall in love with studying again (Hence the picture above). Now I know that sounds far-fetched, but I was once in love with school and studying. I want to get excited about challenging myself intellectually, to be 100% passionate about everything that I'm learning. I just need to get my "mojo" back. Haha. Or maybe I should ask my cousin how she does it. Except for community medicine, she seems to love everything there is about her studies.

There are also a splatter of other random events that happened this year. Some I love and was humbly grateful that it happened, others though at first I didn't understand why they happened, after a while (of passive-aggressive rebelling) I managed to see the bigger picture. The end of one thing is the beginning of another. And yes, beginnings can be intimidating but it's what you find along the new "chapter" that is going to colour your life, no?

2011 is all about Natasha Beddingfield's Unwritten. I want to love everything that I have in my life and be grateful that I even have them in the first place. Family, friends, studies, job, money...heh, okay, I'm joking. Family, I've realized you can't choose them. You just have to love them the way they are and hope that they also love you just as much (this referring to my bratty little sister). Friends, you don't need to have over 1000 Facebook friends. It's okay to have just a handful if that small handful is dependable and hug you when you're sad and laugh with you when you're happy. The kind you call friends for life. And life? I'd say life is all things that you're brave enough to let in and risk the challenge and worth giving a damn about. It could be love, it could be a perfect GPA, it could be the career you've always wanted, it could be friends who you know will always have your back.

And it's not just "sunshine and daisies" you know. Fear, disappointment, failure. One thing I realized is that the bumps in our lives are not there to put us down. They're there to give us the credit we never gave ourselves. That after a fall, we are actually strong enough to stand up again, dust off the dirt and move on. And if we have enough sense of humour, we might even laugh at ourselves for falling down. Okay, lame attempt of trying to lighten things up. I'm stopping now, before this gets way cheesy than it already is. Harhar.

Now, the only reason I could afford playing Dr Phil and do this long a post is because today's a public holiday and my exam that was supposed to be today is rescheduled until further notice. Cheers to that.

This is goodbye then '10. Thank you for being kind to me this year and I can only say Alhamdullillah to Allah for blessing me this generously.

2011, please be good to me too.

Auf wiedersehen friends.

1 Comment(s):

sarahsamad said...

funnily enough, ive got more than a thousand friends. here's to a better year, and better self and what not :)

as for your bratty little sister, im sure we were all bratty, at least i was when i was in secondary school :P With time, your sister will become normal and korang will be each other's best friends (in a way only family could be :D)